Juicing

Starting out, I was optimistic.  I had a very humorous approach to this whole journey, but I was unprepared for what it was really like.  Today, it is the morning of day two, of four days, of the all juice diet.  Nancy is helping me by picking out the right vegetables and fruits to add to the juice, breakfast, lunch and dinner,  This morning, I am caught off guard by the crushing hunger that rumbles through my midsection.  From my ribcage to my pelvis, it feels like there is some angry mass of snakes roiling around an elusive mouse, snapping and spitting, trying desperately to catch the prey.  It is only day two and I feel like I am dying.  My head feels pressurized, my muscles feel weak and I have an undercurrent of anger and annoyance that I cant seem to shake.  I am trying my hardest to be supportive and positive, but all I want to do is sit alone in a room and not talk to anyone.  Just drink the juice and wait until the whole thing is over.  It's only four days.  I've spent more time alone, not doing anything.  "It's only four days," I tell myself.  "You have to do this for yourself.  For Nancy.  For your future children."  The first thing Im going to do is take Nancy to a really good sushi restaurant.  Not one of those crappy chain places, but a really good, fresh sushi place.  The goal being to have a very healthy first meal to train my taste buds to like healthy food.  I just have to work through this.  Completely.  I have to do this.  More later.

My love

No amount of words will equate to the level of respect and admiration I feel for you, Nancy.  I could spend the rest of my life writing and fill journals and books and libraries, but never come close to fully describing the feelings I have.  I have seen you grow, I have seen you learn, I have seen you stand up and fight the evils in this world like the soldier you are.  I have watched you heal from physical as well as emotional injuries, and I will never be able to convey my pride in a way that would satisfy the true definition of it.  All the cliche phrases and simple sentiments seem so trite and unfinished...I love you.  I am proud of you.  Eight words.  Eight words that mean the world and more.  Eight words to describe an emotion so complex, it has inspired countless poems and songs and paintings.  They are so simple, they are so small.  So easy.  But they have to do, I guess.

Polonius

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

Words to live by.

So this is the new year...

Two thousand and seventeen.  What a crazy thought.  I was born last century, almost three decades ago.  So much has happened in my life, arguably more than most people experience in spans twice as long.  Between parents getting divorced, friends coming and going, other friends committing suicide, family members acting like fools, failed relationships, my own divorce, buying and selling two houses before I was twenty eight, starting an inevitably doomed business, and finally "settling down" in Marysville with the love of my life, Nancy, I can say for certain that Im done with the excitement of youth.  This has been a very rough ride so far, and Im ready to slow it down.

So here is me slowing down and enjoying what I have left.

The good and the bad tend to equal themselves out.  Much like a weather system of high and low pressure.  If you are on one side, things can seem clear and comfortable.  But when change approaches, the wind picks up as the air moves from hot to cold, high pressure to low.  Turbulence and destruction soon follow when the wind becomes too strong.  Things fly and windows break and damage is done that seems to be unrepairable.  But then its over.  The storm moves on and the pressure equalizes.  The wind slows to a gentle breeze, the rain stops, the sun comes out and warms the cold pavement.  The breath of life is given to the trees as new buds form and leaves begin to sprout from their tiny little pods.  New life.  Peace at last.  But only after the dirt and soot and mud has been washed away by the torrent.  Blown away in the storm.  Only the strongest branches remain.